vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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