who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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