Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
