very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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