fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
