kristin has been a bad kristin
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
