I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
