just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
