In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
