Its about making memories worth repressing
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
