Whod you bang
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize