Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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