i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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