Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
