im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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