Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize