her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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