so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
