Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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