had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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