I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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