There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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