I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
