forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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