i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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