She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
