The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize