good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
