my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
