So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
