Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
