I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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