i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
