I got chris browned last night
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
