I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm too high and old for this...
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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