escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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