Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My hand turned me down
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
