He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
accomplished twins. life is a go
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
