No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
