I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Randomize
