I accidentally burped into my bong.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
