i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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