dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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