Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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