hell yes lets make some ravioli
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
