Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
