I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
