I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
