I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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