Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
