Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I AM VODKA MAN
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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