between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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