thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
