there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
