Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
