I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
