I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
