I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
