We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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