Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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