Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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