I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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